Random funny internet videos. Round 25.

Random funny internet videos with no unifying theme. I might as well be Reddit right now.

Funny internet video number one: Santa vs Moses (Snoop Dog) - Rap Battle.

Funny internet video number two: Golden eagle snatches and carries away small child.

Funny internet video number three: GIF with sound video

Funny internet video number four: 30 hits of LSD

.... and random funny internet video number five: Chest Defibrillation - The Thing

That is all.

My favourite weird strange people. Round 24.

These characters are all real people who take their lives seriously. I find them to be weird people and strange characters, decide for yourself.

1. Sharky - interview, photo's of Sharky, Sharky's website.

Tim Sharky was a loan shark that owned a large portion of the dodgy side of the Gold coast of Australia. He now resides in Thailand where he sleeps with a different prostitute every night and posts a photo of him with them on facebook, calling it "snatch of the day". He is 48, a body builder, heavily tattooed and recently went to Thai jail for stabbing a man, he now works with the Thai police in the child sex protection squad, he is also is a lover of stray dogs. The man is a walking anomaly. At one time, my current house mate rented one of Sharky's apartments and handed him his rent personally each month, what an honour. The most fully functioning weird strange king.

2. Zyzz - The legacy - Wiki

Zyzz is a buff, self obsessed walking Australian irony. You think it's a brilliant joke, but it's not, he's for reals. Zyzz is dead, he took too many steroids. But his brother "Chest Brah", is alive and kicking. In an unrelated collision of fate, Chest Brah threatened to stab Sharky on Facebook and now Sharky is happy to fight, so.......a 10k fight is in the works. Amazing.

3. John Mongrel - interview

John Mongrel is the boss dog of the numbers gang in South Africa. The numbers gang is the most notorious gang in south Africa and operates from the prisons. John likes to rape lot's of his fellow gang members when they don't do what he says. He has no shame, evident in the interview. This is the bottom of the weird strange people barrel.

4. Jisoe - Documentary

A little brains, a lot of heart. True Aussie battler. Jisoe is a Melbourne graffiti artist who likes to paint trains, steal what he needs to get by and speak his mind. Initially, you can't believe this isn't a constructed satire. His philosophy on life is so flawed yet brilliantly endearing and hilarious. The documentary is completely captivating, you will not turn it off.

5. G. O. A. T. and your M. U. M - His greatest hit explains it all

A brief highlight of the cream from the pudding that is deep southern Texan redneck grunge punk.

Yay.

Funny funny photo face swap. Round 23.

I provide no substance today, purely 30 seconds of time wasted. There is a fun app on smart phones called Face Swap by Margeo. It allows you to take a photo with two people and then swap their faces, it's actually quite hilarious. Inspired by this, I found 5 funny face swap sphotos that I enjoyed.

1. Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox. A funny photo face swap, it highlight's the plasticity of Megan Fox's face and the weakness inherent in LaBeouf's moustache.

2. Gary Busey and the whole family. I love Gary Busey, he had severe brain damage from a motorcycle accident yet continued to work as an actor until he died. The brain damage caused him to be quite crazy, do more drugs and it turned off his ability to hold his tongue. See here. Despite all this, I actually think he became somewhat of a genius idiot savant. Every photo of Gary Busey is funny, four of his faces swapped onto lesser people is even better.

3. Justin Bieber and Steve Buscemi's eyes. This is the only way I can stare at Justin Bieber for more than 5 seconds. Steve Buscemi has incredible eyes that have transformed many other celebrities into new sensations, see here. Face swap photo gold.

4. Man and baby. Classic face swap photo. So good. 

5. Fat Indian kid and fat Indian kid's belly. This is some innovative face swapping, turning this regular joe into some kind of mystical Jabba the hut.

Enjoying life while not blogging. Round 22.

I haven't written a blog entry in 10 days for the following reasons:

1) I was out in the world doing fun shit.

2) I was hit by a Pajero on my motorbike.

3) I didn't feel like writing, I'm spontaneous or inconsistent (depending on who's calling it) and I'm very committed to this stance on life.

I'd like to share 5 things I learnt during my blog awayness. 

1) Before an accident, motorbikes are the most cost effective solution for exercising male freedom, adrenalin and adventure. I have participated in the world of risky sports for some 15 years now and I've gathered a good feeling for the dimensions of a sport that make it rewarding. I'm throwing it out there that motorbike riding is the bee's knees for the everyday soul. Let me clarify that I'm not talking about cruising, I'm talking about pushing the bike to a healthy, committing speed around tight corners. So, with that in mind, the perks: you ride fucking fast and with maximum exposure. Bikes consist of an engine which you wrap your body around and then the two wheels to move on, there is nothing superfluous, it's a very raw feeling. You enter a new world, when you hit a windy national park road, there is only your body movement, your speed and the corners, there is no room in your mind to consider anything else, you become drawn in, absorbed into this new improbable world. There is much complexity and deep learning to be had to master cornering but it's always fun, totally engaging and completely committing. You have two objectives, 1) go as fast as possible around each corner 2) don't run the corner wide (into the other lane or off the road). So, there is a brilliant balance that is strived for that keeps one completely engaged. Nothing focuses a man more than having certain death waiting for him on the side of the road if mistakes are made for giving anything less than total engagement. More than this, you move, constant new scenery is pushed towards you, good riding roads are often in remote places with beautiful forested hills, so, you get to enjoy charging through nature. This play with danger, skill, constant change of scenery, adrenalin from fear and speed, the noise and feeling from being wrapped around an engine working as hard as it can....it's a sensory overload and it makes a man feel free. All things considered, post accident, this summary may no longer apply, I'm yet to know if I'm happy to pay the price tag, whichever limb or life that may be. But the current price tag is pretty damn low, you can get a fun bike for $4-6000 and running cost shouldn't be more than $1500-2000 per year for petrol, services and rego if you ride a lot. Segueing into my next point, the last amazing draw card for the old bike riding is it takes you out of everyday life, you get to travel down new roads away from the habit and scenery that you grind through day to day. 

2)  Getting out of Sydney into good old mother nature is pure refreshment for your emotional well being. I've been doing nature hops a fair amount recently and I feel more light hearted and fulfilled than usual. Last week, we ventured down to an amazing 100m waterfall in the southern highlands and swam in rock pools right at the edge of where the waterfall threw forth. Thursday involved a fast scenic drive to Nowra on motorbikes and rock climbing the overhanging cliffs that are dotted along the main river in Nowra (scary but fun, you climb up to 10m and fall into the water). Sunday involved hilarious cliff jumping into fresh royal national park rivers. It's been good fun to break up the feeling of being stuck in Sydney, which is never the reality, but often seems like the case.

3) I'm in an adventurous mood of late, so the next insert of learning involves one activity but with two insights. The first being, I like having moderately uncomfortable risk in my life, it reminds me to enjoy the moment and often bold moves are required to open certain doors. I'll explain, my house mate and I go looking for treasure from time to time, or in a less glorious description, we go looking for 150 year old garbage. Up until recently our only method has been scuba diving at old historic sights in Sydney and digging up old bottles with embossed print detailing Sydney brewers, this is hard work and Sydney harbour feels very sharky, so sharky, I hate it but I love it. The reward can be lucrative, my work colleague who I introduced the hobby to found a $30,000 bottle within 2 months, this is not at all a common achievement but illustrates the motivation. Any who, recently we explored a 130 year old tip site which had been dug up due to construction work, we slipped in after dark with shovels and dug up other peoples' garbage for 5 hours into the night. It was great fun; the awareness that any unusual noise could be security arriving, uncovering a bottle and then slowly digging around it to identify it, I found one bottle worth $200 that night, not a lot, but still substantial enough to warrant the experience, sneaking out with your haul, back to the car, then home, the relief of not getting caught is palatable. Something about this experience feels like an achievement, it seems both purposeful and pointless, an unnecessary risk for a bizarre pursuit which makes it all the more rewarding in it's uncanniness.

4) This recent flurry into bottle hunting reminded me that there are so many weird ways to make money that I've never even thought of. There are many ways to make money that I will never know about because it's in no one's best interest to tell me how to do it. Bottle hunting is a good example, if you know where to look, there are plenty of areas you can find valuable bottles, but who would ever tell you how to find them, you must do your own research, or have a close friend who is willing to share with you, but once you know, you can mine that vein for a long time. It's amazing how we look at the world through a narrow lens that restricts the many possibilities for deriving value from our surrounding.

5) Consistency is important, I've noticed this in life, those who can be consistent for extended periods of time, do well. I'm both consistently inconsistent and inconsistently consistent, this results in mixed success and many abandoned projects which get revisited later down the track. I want to keep up the blog but I know me too well, consistency is my killer. Hang in there and harass me from time to time, that should keep me on my toes. If anyone feels especially good at consistency and has useful mind tricks, I'd love to hear them. 

I'l tell the motorbike accident story another time. It's quite amusing to be intentionally struck with a 4wd by a heavily pregnant Arab woman and then chase her down and coax her into admitting on video that she did a cheeky hit and run.

Peace.

The most beautiful places in the world to visit. Round 21.

I've been to some incredible places in the world but I haven't left Sydney for 2 years. So, I was on the hunt for a few more earthly wonders to visit and I thought I might share my research. Perhaps it inspires you to actually go to the place.

1. Crystal caves in Naica, Mexico

2. Jiuzaigou Valley in China

3. Ice caves - Skatftafeli, Iceland

4. Salar de Uyuni, the world's largest salt lakes - Bolivia.

5. Door to Hell - Darvaza, Turkmenistan

This is Dubstep, yay. Round 20.

Dub step is on the way out, finally. I loved it while I loved it but time to let go and move backwards into more eclectic honest music.

As a good bye to dub music, I'm listing 5 of my favourite more fatty bass unknown songs.


1. Bass Nectar & Ill Gates - Probable cause  King of the hill, so juicy.
2. Kalya Scintilla - Feeling good Such a saucy track, very appropriate title.
3. Eskmo - Agnus Dei  Epic in every sense of the word, Eskmo records many of his sounds from layering many natural sounds together.
4. Dr P - Big Boss If you like video game sounding bassy goodness, then this is for you.
5. Bass Nectar - Encore Just a good solid party anthem.

Special mention:

Eskmo - Cloudlight Not really Dub step but a very interesting complex beat.
Gogol Bordello - Immigradiada Fucking weird, I love it and hate it, I imagine punk bands in Israel sounding like this.

60s psych songs for the people. Round 19.

Seeing as I'm going to a 60s psych night this evening and have the benefit of living with a man who spends his time digging through the depths of rare 60s psych vinyl, I thought I might share a few relatively unknown gems I've been listening to lately.

1. Open Mind - Magic Potion (1969
2. The Pretty things - Defecting Grey
3. July - Dandelion Seeds (1968)
4. Nirvana - Rainbow Chaser (1968) Very Beatlesesque .
5. Black Feather - Seasons of change (1971) This is cheating but I love this song and it's Australian!!! Give it a go.

Happy listening.

Funny photos to not so funny photos. Round 18.

5 photos taken from my phone over the last year.

1. Improving the alarm system at work.

2. Bug orgy

3. Behind the DJ

4. Chest face.

5. See if you can figure out what this is and how the effect was achieved. No photo shop was used. 

Japanese game show gold. Round 17.

I'm going to Japan in February, to psych myself up for the wonderful culture, I've collected a few of my favourite prank and game show videos from Japan. In Japan, their laws allow them to get away with filming mean yet hilarious pranks on unsuspecting civilians. They also have game shows that involve the possibility of large amounts of pain and humiliation. America steals all it's good ideas in this area from Japan, the Japanese do it better.

1. (MXC) Most extreme elimination challenge - most painful eliminations. Best show ever made, hands down. Originally called Takeshi's castle, The Americans dubbed the voices and made MXC, they did a good job. I highly recommend watching the show.
2. Japanese prank show - massage chair. The second prank is very dangerous but amazing.
3. Japanese dodge ball. Like regular dodge ball except teams throw the ball into a goal space and then the ball is shot out at high speed at the other team. Occasionally, miscellaneous objects (like office chairs) are flung out across the floor.
4. Human tetris. So good! Just watch it.
5. Japanese prank compilation. The use of flash mobs to freak out a single individual is golden.

Hawaiian shirt Friday. Round 16.

   

I'm going to drop some knowledge bombs on you today, and while you may think this entry is tongue in cheek, I assure you, it's fucking serious. The best male fashion advice any modern day man can covet is that Hawaiian shirts are the most versatile, effective weapon for conquering the maze of urban society. Hawaiian shirt Friday is 6 days too short, get with the programme. For sake of consistency, I'll only give you 5 reasons, even though, 100 would easily be possible.

1. You reside above all subcultural and fashionable hierarchies. People are very judgemental and will critique you both on how well you are dressed based on their misguided scale of fashion and what subculture you are  visually aligned to. Hawaiian shirts do not reside on this fashion scale, instead, the shirt represents a satirical mockery of the very idea of fashion. The shirt also separates itself from subcultural attachment, making you an outlier, being an outlier is a good thing unless you tread the water of life like a scared virgin.

2. Gary Busey is not a scared virgin, he is a successful and very insane drunk who learnt that the visual band aid to alcoholism and mental instability is the Hawaiian shirt. You see, the second magical key to the shirt is that people associate the shirt with a sense of mockery, satire, tongue in cheek and lack of sincerity. Being drunk in public on a Monday, shouting at passing cars is a dire spectacle for any human being. Bear a Hawaiian shirt and you're now a fun loving dude enjoying the holiday of life and making us all question why we work so hard, when you get to have all the fun. In the photo below, Gary is actually not wearing pants, he was arrested on Sunset boulevard riding a child's bicycle smoking a joint with a backpack full of vodka. And do you know why he wasn't charged? Respect. Thank you for your teachings, Gary. Hawaiian shirt drunk pride!

Add caption

 3. An additional benefit to the Hawaiian shirt is that you can spill whatever you want on it and it actually improves the shirt. This is actually a very beneficial feature if you have been taking advantage of drugs and alcohol, because as we all know, drugs and alcohol make hand to mouth coordination questionable at best. See this sapling, what an idiot! White shirts are boring, dangerous and social suicide. I actually hate this photo, so I buffered it with boss times and cheer.

             

4. Fight cunts. If you get into a fight wearing a Hawaiian shirt, you can only win. You win, you win. You lose, you win, because, what type of misguided fool would hurt a fun loving guy trying to enjoy his sunny Monday. holiday. You, lying on the floor bleeding, look up in delight to see the crowds descend on your would be assailant for some good old fashioned mob retribution. Unfortunately, the photo below is a poor example because both men are wearing Hawaiian shirts which I imagine caused great confusion in the crowd, actually they both look like upstanding gentleman, even their friends do, I hope no one was hurt. Below was clearly the culmination of Hawaiian shirt Friday and too many drunk drinks.

5. You are no longer fat, you're fun. And you just know them cups a full of booze, even women want to be him.

Don't hide from the truth, this Friday or any day. Enjoy the drunk shirts of Hawaii.

I meme my friends. Round 15.

I decided to memeify my friends x5 today. Luckily, most of them don't know about this blog. If you guys do find this, I love you and I'm sorry.

                                     

The following wont make sense unless you know these people or you are a racist.

The following wont make sense unless you know this person.

The following wont make sense unless you know these people.