1. You reside above all subcultural and fashionable hierarchies. People are very judgemental and will critique you both on how well you are dressed based on their misguided scale of fashion and what subculture you are visually aligned to. Hawaiian shirts do not reside on this fashion scale, instead, the shirt represents a satirical mockery of the very idea of fashion. The shirt also separates itself from subcultural attachment, making you an outlier, being an outlier is a good thing unless you tread the water of life like a scared virgin.
4. Fight cunts. If you get into a fight wearing a Hawaiian shirt, you can only win. You win, you win. You lose, you win, because, what type of misguided fool would hurt a fun loving guy trying to enjoy his sunny Monday. holiday. You, lying on the floor bleeding, look up in delight to see the crowds descend on your would be assailant for some good old fashioned mob retribution. Unfortunately, the photo below is a poor example because both men are wearing Hawaiian shirts which I imagine caused great confusion in the crowd, actually they both look like upstanding gentleman, even their friends do, I hope no one was hurt. Below was clearly the culmination of Hawaiian shirt Friday and too many drunk drinks.
Don't hide from the truth, this Friday or any day. Enjoy the drunk shirts of Hawaii.